i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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