I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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