How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
