I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
