in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
