Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
