dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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