Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize