so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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