he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
