I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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