At least make sure they are 18
Why
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
