I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
