I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
