is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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