If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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