I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You made out with two different species that night
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
