yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
