Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Green mimosas i think yes
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
