Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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