Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
