No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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