gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
