My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
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