pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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