We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i love accidental penises.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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