Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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