Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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