i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
