I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
