I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Never underestimate the power of titties
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
