If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize