he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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