Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Randomize