he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
