We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
