u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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