im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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