I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
His nipple licking is glorious
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