Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
