Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
