508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
why does every cop we meet know your name?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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