she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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