3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
time to smoke my breakfast
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
