can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
