White coat. Heels.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You're like the curious george of whores
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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