Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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