I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
