just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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