lets start a swedish sibling band together
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
