I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
