Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
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He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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