Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
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We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
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This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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