making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
