are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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