i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
