just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
