Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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