first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize