White coat. Heels.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
